Let’s get real for a minute: living together 24/7 in an RV is not the romantic adventure social media makes it out to be. At least not at first.
After three and a half years of full-time RV living together, we’ve learned a few things about staying sane (and staying married) when you’re sharing 300 square feet with your spouse. Those first six months? They nearly broke us.
But here’s the thing—we figured it out. And if you’re living this lifestyle with your partner or considering it, these hard-won lessons might just save your sanity too.
Why the First Six Months Are Brutal (And That’s Normal)
Before RV life, Barry was a full-time musician playing gigs every weekend, often not getting home until 3 AM. I was juggling swim meets, travel, and a full friend group. We were busy—separately busy.
Then suddenly, we were together. All. The. Time.
We’d been married for over 30 years, raised two kids, and thought we knew each other inside and out. Turns out, we had a lot to learn about living in each other’s space 24/7.
The adjustment hit us hard. We questioned whether we’d made a massive mistake. There were tears, arguments, and more than a few “what have we done?” moments.
But around the six-month mark, something shifted. We stopped fighting the lifestyle and started adapting to it. And that’s when things got better.
5 Strategies That Actually Work for Staying Sane Together
1. Give Yourselves Grace for the Adjustment Period
You’re both dealing with a complete life upheaval—selling everything, leaving your community, navigating new systems, and doing it all while living on top of each other. That’s a lot.
The stress compounds because you’re each processing it individually while also dealing with your partner’s stress. Cut yourselves some slack. The first six months are hard for almost everyone, and that’s completely normal.
2. Stay in Your Lane (But Know Each Other’s Jobs Too)
We’ve developed a clear division of labor. Barry handles most of the outdoor setup, sewer connections, and towing responsibilities. I manage the indoor systems, leveling process, and final checks before we hit the road.
Having ownership over specific tasks prevents the “I thought you did it” disasters and keeps us from stepping on each other’s toes.
That said—and this is important—we both know how to do each other’s jobs. I know how to handle the sewer connections if Barry’s sick or traveling for work. He knows my systems if I’m unavailable. Cross-training is crucial, but daily ownership stays in our respective lanes.
3. Create Alone Time (Even in 300 Square Feet)
This might be the most important tip on this list.
Barry needs alone time in the morning. I’m not allowed to talk to him for at least 30 minutes after he wakes up. (Okay, “not allowed” might be strong—but I’ve learned to respect his need for quiet morning time.)
I need my alone time too. Sometimes that means Barry takes a walk while I decompress inside. Sometimes it’s headphones on, signaling “I’m in my own world right now.” Other times, one of us works outside while the other stays in.
We’ve also learned to recognize when the other person is reaching their limit. A simple “I need some space” prevents a lot of unnecessary friction.
Pro tip for managing travel stress: We also talk extensively in the video about using a proper RV GPS system (not Google Maps!) to avoid routes that create unnecessary stress. I (Darlene) have travel day anxiety, especially on mountain passes and switchbacks. We share our full West Virginia mountain story in the video—it’s a perfect example of what NOT to do as new RVers! Using the right GPS helps us avoid those white-knuckle situations that can create tension between us.
4. Communicate Everything (And We Mean Everything)
What worked in a 2,000-square-foot house doesn’t work in an RV. You can’t escape to different rooms to cool off. You can’t avoid each other when you’re having a rough day.
We’ve learned to talk through everything now:
- How we’re feeling about an upcoming travel day
- When we’re stressed and need extra patience
- When we need quiet time versus together time
- What our expectations are for the day/week/month
Over-communication might feel awkward at first, but it’s essential. Assumptions are the enemy of RV harmony.
A real example: I (Darlene) need to prepare the night before travel days. I want everything packed up and ready so we can leave on time in the morning without any surprises. Barry’s naturally more laid-back about this—he figures he can wake up early and get it all done. But he’s learned that doing prep the night before significantly lowers my stress levels on travel day. In the video, Barry shares the full story about how he had to learn this about me (and why pizza and beer were involved!). It’s a perfect example of how understanding each other’s needs makes everything smoother.
5. Lower Your Expectations (Seriously)
We went into this expecting non-stop adventure and romance. Reality check: there’s a lot of mundane maintenance, stressful travel days, and figuring out basic logistics.
Once we adjusted our expectations and embraced the messy reality of full-time RV life, everything improved. Some days are magical mountain sunrises. Other days are dealing with a clogged black tank in 95-degree heat.
Both are part of the deal. The sooner you accept that, the happier you’ll be.
The Things We’re Still Working On
We don’t have everything figured out (and probably never will). I (Darlene) still struggle with travel day anxiety, especially on mountain passes and tight roads. It’s not about Barry’s driving—it’s just something I wrestle with, and he’s learned to be patient with me through it.
Barry’s learned that my anxiety isn’t personal criticism of his driving abilities. In the video, he talks about how he had to work through taking it personally at first, and how he now understands it’s just my own internal struggle. (We tell the full story in the video if you want to hear more about how we worked through this!)
But that’s okay. This lifestyle is a constant work in progress, and so are we.
Building Community Helps Too
One thing that’s made a huge difference? Connecting with other RVers who get it. Events like Xscapers rallies remind us we’re not alone in this journey—other couples are navigating the same challenges, celebrating the same victories, and figuring it out as they go.
Speaking of which, we’re heading to Lake Havasu, Arizona for Xscapers Annual Bash ’26 (January 10-18), and we’d love to see you there. We dive into more details about the event in this week’s podcast, including why building connections with other RVers has been so important for our relationship and sanity.
Important note: You need to be an Escapees member to attend Xscapers events. If you’re not already a member, for a limited time get 30% OFF your Escapees membership here. It gives you access to all their amazing events, plus discounts on products, services, education, and we even use them for our domicile and mail forwarding service!
The Bottom Line
Is full-time RV life with your partner easy? No.
Is it worth it? Absolutely.
But you have to be willing to communicate, adapt, and give each other grace through the hard parts. Those first six months will test you—but if you can make it through, the reward is a lifestyle that’s pretty incredible.
We’re three and a half years in now, and we’re not just surviving—we’re thriving. It took work, patience, and a lot of honest conversations, but we wouldn’t trade this life for anything.
If you’re on this journey too (or thinking about it), know that the struggles are normal, the adjustment is real, and you’re not alone.
Ready to Go Full-Time?
If you’re planning your transition to full-time RV life, our comprehensive online course walks you through everything you need to know—from choosing the right RV to managing the emotional adjustment. We’re here to help you avoid the mistakes we made and start strong.
Check out our Going Full-Time RV Course here
Join the Conversation
What’s been your biggest challenge living in an RV with your partner? Or if you’re planning to go full-time, what are you most worried about? Drop a comment below—we read every single one and love hearing from you!
